Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Missing My Grandparents

I was looking through my Aunt Loni's blogs and came across a blog she had made of pictures of her parents, my grandparents from various times of their lives. Of course as a grandchild I recall them only looking like this:

However I love seeing pictures like this when they were close to my current age:

Admittedly such pictures do fill me with a bit of melancholy. I feel sadness at not seeing my grandparents any more and in being able to enjoy their warm hugs and beautiful smiles. I miss being able to hear their remarkable life experiences and to hear of times and places that were so different from my own. They brought so much joy into my life and taught me so much that I treasure.

There is also sadness in what I never asked. In part I am sad because some of the questions I don't know if I would have the courage to ask them even if they were here today with me. I think it's unfortunate that some of our greatest struggles as human beings and consequently some of the things that we would gain the most helpful insights from others regard questions that we dare not even discuss and even fear to acknowledge as difficult.

However with the sadness of those pictures also comes appreciation and joy. Appreciation at lives that were well-lived and happiness on reflection of the experiences that they enjoyed and savored. Appreciation that I had the incredible opportunity to enjoy their association and love. But also apprecation of the solemn reminder that time marches forward. That under even the best of circumstances we grow old and slow in our pace and that eventually this life will be over. But in each moment there is the now, the now which can be embraced and loved while simultaneously planning to make each future moment just a little brighter and better-just as I feel my grandparents did both for themselves and for others.